Brokeback Washington
by ItalianBanker
Summary: There is no way in hell I can actually describe or summarize this. You'll just have to read to find out. AU Thomas Jefferson/George Washington smut/lemon crackfic.. thing.


It was another day in scenic Colonial America as some great men, and some not-as-great men, and also some so-so men, met for the Philadelphia Constitutional Convention of 1787. The so-so men and the not-as-great men don't really matter in this narrative, because they're so-so men and not-as-great men. If they were important to this narrative, they'd be called great men, but they aren't, so we're ignoring them. Instead, we'll be looking at those great men, most notably the strapping Thomas Jefferson and the robust George Washington. Thomas Jefferson, principal author of the Declaration of Independence, was unaware at the time that George Washington was more involved in keeping America's interest in check than from the English; no one knew, in fact, not even George Washington's wife Martha, knew of his secret hobby: imperialist werewolf-hunting.

History would forget George Washington's involvement in the secret war between America and the Imperialist English Werewolf scum, but one man would remember. One man would hold this tale to the grave, and even much, much longer, until he would appear to one Floridian native as a ghost and reveal this great epic. That man was Thomas Jefferson.

Thomas Jefferson didn't know what to expect when his great friend, George Washington, had asked for assistance with "something", though what that "something" was he had no idea. Was it to speak of philosophy, or of current politics and events? Or was it something else? Had George Washington learnt of Jefferson's schoolgirl crush on him? Jefferson prayed to God that he hadn't. He never wanted to share his feelings to Washington, a married man in the eyes of God. Thomas had loved George since the moment they had first met, probably in England, or maybe America? The Ghost of Jefferson was not at all specific when he told me all of this.

The Ghost of Jefferson did however tell me of that fateful night when George Washington had asked him for assistance. George had asked Jefferson if he was ready to see the world in a different way, which Jefferson assumed to be George beginning to confess his love for our constitution-writer. This however was wrong, as later they would be trudging through the woods, looking for odd beasts that George called "English werewolves".

Not in his whole life had Jefferson heard tell of a werewolf, much less an English Imperialist werewolf. _"The more radical of England have gone insane, Jefferson! It's our job to stop them before this entire country falls beneath their rabid fang!"_ Washington had told him. Jefferson's first thought was _"Are you shitting me?"_ to which he later learned Washington was not shitting him. Deep from the bleak blackwald of the forest had erupted a single howl. Washington had shouted, "Tally-ho!" at the howl, and Jefferson was quite confused.

Minutes later, Jefferson would stumble upon the corpse of a large, bipedal werewolf, with a tall, strapping George Washington holding a knife in its neck. _"You missed the fun, Jefferson!" _erupted George Washington to the confused Jefferson. The gleeful Washington then asked _"But you know what else would be fun, Jefferson?"_, to which Jefferson replied _"I don't know what, George." _Jefferson didn't honestly know what to expect, after having seen his friend George Washington over the corpse of an English Imperialist werewolf.

There, deep in the woods, over the corpse of a dead, English imperialist werewolf, Washington dropped his trousers to reveal his glorious, colonial dick. Pointing at Jefferson, the half-naked Washington said, _"You. You would be fun." _Jefferson quickly checked his pulse to make sure he hadn't been killed by some stray werewolf and gone to Heaven. He hadn't.

Jefferson grinned and took a step forward to Washington, straddling his arms around Washington's broad chest, and then reaching a hand down to feel his impressive dick. Washington had reached an arm around Jefferson at some point and squeezed his constitutional butt constitutionally. For a moment, they both stare within each other's eyes before their lips passionately meet, and their tongues dance the dance of dancing. The Ghost of Thomas Jefferson is not the best at describing a kiss.

George Washington tore away at Jefferson's fine petticoat and chest-piece as they continued making out in the woods over the corpse of a werewolf. He then shed his own coat, and then reached down into his lover's trousers to feel his rock-hard dick. "Take them off, now Jefferson," Washington said to Jefferson. Immediately Jefferson threw his trousers to one of the trees and knelt down to behold Washington's fabulous dick even closer. It must have been nine inches long, and in one quick motion Jefferson tried to take the magnificent member into his mouth. As he bobbed his head back and forth on the incredible dick, Washington pulled on Jefferson's hair, forcing him to take in even more of it.

After a minute of Thomas Jefferson gagging on George Washington's dick, Washington pulled his dick out of Jefferson's mouth and brought Jefferson back up to kiss once more_. "We should do this more often, Jefferson,"_ Washington had whispered, breaking the kiss for a moment before resuming.

"One second, Jefferson," Washington takes a step back and takes a step forward to the werewolf corpse, saying "Werewolf blood is a notable lubricant, trust me." Leaning down, the founding father sticks two fingers into a puddle of the werewolf's blood, and lubes up his cock. He motions for Jefferson to come forward and turn around. Putting more werewolf blood onto his fingers, Washington stretches Jefferson's asshole and lubes it up as well.

"_Here we go,"_ Washington whispers as he gently pushes his dick into Jefferson's ass. Jefferson lets out a quiet moan as Washington's dick goes further up his ass and feels a wave of ecstasy when Washington meets his prostate. The Ghost of Thomas Jefferson made a stupid face when he told me that god he is so weird. After about a minute, Washington established a good rhythm in Jefferson's ass, and strokes his partner softly. It was a sign of God's blessing, the Ghost of Thomas Jefferson said, that both he and Washington ejaculated at the same time. I asked the Ghost of Thomas Jefferson if he would leave now but he told me he wasn't done oh my fucking god Ghost of Thomas Jefferson just get on with it.

Both Thomas and Jefferson got dressed, and passionately kissed before Washington said _"Let's do this again sometime. The sex, not the werewolf hunting; you're not that helpful in werewolf hunting."_ The Ghost of Thomas Jefferson says we're done I'm done fuck you Ghost of Thomas Jefferson go haunt someone else you piece of shit get someone else to write your badly-written smut.


End file.
